On the Spiritual Journey
Around 5 a.m. every morning for the last week or so a bluebird has routinely been knocking against our bedroom window. Whether it considers its reflection a threat, a potential mate, or, as my husband sardonically proposes, sees something inside that it wants, it thrusts its side against the window every thirty seconds or so for minutes on end. The only reward it receives for its persistence is a sore wing.
Many times, our quest for happiness mirrors the quandary of the bluebird at our window. We want the happiness and success that we perceive in others, but are at a loss as to how to attain it. We keep knocking against this reflection of joy we see on the other side but can never break down the barrier to acquire it for ourselves. The only reward we receive for our efforts is to feel hurt, left out or victimized.
We have to realize these feelings are false and not let them take over our minds, actions, relationships and future. Satan delights in aggrandizing our fears and disappointments because they keep us weak. Joy comes to us not because we deserve it, but because we fight for it despite the challenges in our lives, because we have chosen excellence in character, actions and thoughts over the mediocre or sinful.
In a recent homily, our parish deacon, Bill Caubet, posed the question, “Do we approach Jesus as humbly and boldly as did the sinful woman?" She crashed the Pharisee’s dinner party to wash Jesus’ feet with her tears, dry them with her hair and anoint them with oil. Washing Jesus’ feet she symbolically humbled herself at the foot of the cross. Through her acts, she acknowledged Jesus as the Son of God as well as her sins. Jesus in turn, forgave her of her many sins (Luke 7:38-46).
These two acknowledgments are intrinsic to every encounter of the repentant person who approaches Him. The same humility was true of the tax collector in the temple who “did not place the hope of salvation in the certainty of his own innocence; indeed, no one is innocent. Rather he prayed humbly, confessing his sins,” wrote St. Cyprian, bishop and martyr, adding, “And the Lord who forgives the lowly heard his prayer” (Liturgy of the Hours, Vol. III).
There are examples throughout the Scriptures of the humble being exalted (Luke 18:9-14), receiving grace (James 4:6, I Peter 5:5-6), experiencing the Master’s healing (Matthew 8:8, 9:22, 9:29) and being rewarded for their faith. (Hebrews 11:6).
Faith in Jesus as the Son of God gives us the strength to be bold, taking to heart his words that “Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit” (John 15:5).
We must be willing to go through the trials and tribulations it takes to build a life of joy, to be humbled and tested by fire. We must allow God to guide us so that we are constantly strengthening and honing our gifts for His purpose. It is in making God the purpose for our lives that we find joy on our side of the window and realize there is nothing else we need or want elsewhere.
And so I pray: Dear Lord, free me from my sins and failure to recognize you as my purpose and the source of all joy. Build my strength to serve you humbly and boldly.
©2010, E. Jane Rutter |
